my new drug...

Resolve High Traffic Carpet Cleaner. It works just as well as Xanax, as far as I'm concerned.

I just cleaned half of my carpet - on my hands and knees - with this stuff. And, WOW. The carpet is clean, and I've never felt as happy. It's a miracle. This is even better than the day I discovered Easy Off Oven Cleaner and my self-cleaning oven.

(also, I lifted enough hair off the carpet to spawn 17 baby cats and maybe a gorilla - gross)