Run Jenni, Run

Sunday marked my second half marathon in 3 months, which becomes more and more humorous to me every time I think about it. As my mom puts it, I didn't just dislike running when I was growing up, I physically hated it. Loudly, and publicly hated it. And now I choose to run multiple miles on end. It's just funny.

All week I'd been eating my healthy oat bran craisin muffins for breakfast, lots of fruits and veggies throughout the day, and drinking buckets of water. I was hydrated, fueled and ready to go. Oh, and can I mention scared. Saturday I picked up my race packet along with some goodies at the Expo - including a bunch of free samples, and my very own Stick. Best. Thing. Ever. I also got my very own pace bracelet, a 5:00 finish bracelet, which I was pretty sure was too fast for me. I went home, washed all of my racing gear, and headed to RO'Ds for some delicious grilled steak, veggies, and potatoes. The lovely KD gave me a good luck balloon, and I headed home to get to bed early.

Sunday's plan was to wake up at 4:45, head downtown by 5:30, and meet up with some friends at 7th and Congress by 6:15am. I was wide awake by 4. As I got ready I must have unpinned and repinned my bib number to about 4 different places, finally deciding on the place it started. I went through all my pre-run routine, and had everything I needed. I grabbed the last muffin to nibble on my way, and headed out by 5:30. After parking the car, I headed towards Congress - and decided to turn on my iPod for some pre-race inspiration. It did not work. WHAT! I was frantic. I tried again, I reset it. I knew I had left it plugged in all night, but I was concerned that maybe all the songs had been erased. I checked my watch to see if I had time to go home and come up with a plan B, but I did not. Then I heard one little note of music. I tried to make it happen again. It was shortly after that when I realized the headphones were not plugged in. Crisis solved, iPod working. Once I met up with my friends I realized I had forgotten my pace bracelet. I said aloud, "Crap, I'm going to be doing math all morning" - and it was true. The number of times I calculated '11 minutes times 9 miles is 99 minutes, minus 60 is 1:39:00, but 12 minutes time 9 miles is...90 plus 18, so thats 108, minus 60 is 1:48:00, but crap, what was 11. Ok, so if I'm between 1:39 and 1:48 then I should be ok.' or how about 'if a 5k is about 3-ish miles, and a 10k is about 6-ish miles, then 20k is about 12-ish miles, so at 12 miles if I'm running 12 minute miles I should be at...ok, 144 minus 120 is 2:24:00.' I'm embarrassed how long these simple problems kept me stumped.

The race started a tad late, and the first three miles were a slow but steady incline. I seemingly struggled through my initial 6/1's (6-minutes running, 1-minute walking - I have to start this way or I will crash out way too early!)I had a wonderful group of friends waiting for me just as we turned the corner between miles 3 and 4. They were there smiling, with signs, and cheering. A much welcome difference from San Antonio. They said I was doing great, I left my jacket with them and indicated I felt like crap. It was true. I was unaware of the steady incline and just how tough that would be for my already difficult first 3 miles. The next 3 were mostly down hill, and the 'high' from my friends and the signs kept me moving too. By mile 6 I was comfortably into some 10/1's and was pretty close to an 11 minute mile. I was aware that I was already feeling better than San Antonio, and I was now in my groove. Britney Spears' Circus was playing a few extra times on the iPod, to keep me going. (ugh, I know, Britney, but seriously...this one did it for me.)

Somewhere after mile 8 I realized there was something wrong in my shoe. I couldn't quite figure it out, but it felt like a rock, or something completely digging into my right foot. I eventually stopped and untied the sucker to check it out. Of course, nothing. So I put it back on, something still piercing my foot, and I just put it out of my mind. Back to some math. I was trying to calculate the time that my friends running the full would be done: 'if it's 2 hours for me now, and they were predicting a 4:20 race, and it's 9:30am, then they have 2.5 hours left, which is...crap, what time did I say it was, ok 9:30 plus...crap, how much time, ok, 2.5 hours. so 10:30, 11:30 - between 11:30 and 12.' Amazing, I forgot all about the thing poking my foot.

After mile 9 an unexpected friend was chillin' on the corner. It was so great to see her, because she's been pretty sick lately, and just her effort to get up and down there meant a ton. So after seeing LR, I was off and running again. Shortly after, the first group re-appeared along with their signs. It was another wonderful surprise to see them. And the last push I needed to feel like I could tackle the mother of all hills. (NOTE, the people in this picture are happily seen running DOWN said hill, I most definitely was going in the other direction, and a bit less happy.) I did notice the slowing of the herd, many people hunched over and walking up, my own "running" was slow, but a dedicated run. Halfway up, RO'D's smiling face as he starts jumping up and down cheering for my approach. Everything he said to me may have been a lie, but he feel in step along side me and said "You look great, you're the only one kicking it up this hill" He said he'd run a little ways with me, and together we passed the other group of friends he was with. I looked over at him and breathlessly said "I'm tired as shit" and he chuckled and said "Oh, I'll slow down!" He crossed the 12 mile mark with me, at 2:24:15 (note, from previous calculations this is nearly exactly a 12 minute mile). As he left he said "you look great, keep going you're almost there, I'll see you at the end." and he high-fived me on my way.

I thank him for getting me up that hill, but the last mile was still pretty tough. I kept slowing down, but tried to turn it on to keep up the 12 minute miles. There was one more small incline, and despite the "Keep Going" lovingly spray painted onto the road, I took a break to walk it up that one. I was running when I saw the 800 meters to go sign, and I didn't look back - ran it all the way in. 2:37:30, which is a consistent 12-minute mile pace, 15 minutes shorter than my time in San Antonio, on a course with many, MANY more inclines. And, I was still standing at the end.

I think, of the whole ordeal, the biggest accomplishment came the following day, when I was nearly unsore (except for one small toe/toenail issue), and even contemplated going for a run at one point.

Besides my own accomplishments, the day as a whole was spectacular. I was in awe of all the support, from friends nearby and family and friends who weren't. The attitude of the runners, the spectators, the city as a whole - it was fantastic.

This weekend I am jumping into week 7 of a training program for the Capitol 10K, where the goal is to run the entire thing continuously, without my beloved one-minute walking breaks.

twelve point five, break-down

I ran the longest of my training runs this morning, 12.5 miles. It amazes me when I do a long run like this, that a person can run past the Hula Hut, the Erwin Center, the Palmer Events Center, and the Elephant Room in the same 2 hour span. Here are the events, as they transpired, this morning.

mile 1: starting the normal trail loop in the opposite direction, Good.
mile 2: new insole in my shoe, Good.
mile 3 (in proximity of my car again): running jacket, Bad. (returned it to car!)
mile 3.5: Ctyomax going down, Gooooooood!
mile 4-6: Exposition hills, Bad.
mile 7: Enfield hill, Ugly.
mile 8: Cytomax coming up, Baaaad!
mile 8: Shrub near the Texas State History Museum to hurl in, Good.
mile 9-10.5: running the whole way in 10.5 minutes, Good.
mile 11: new insole in my shoe, Bad, very bad.
mile 12: Kayne West's Stronger, Good.

Today's run was tough, lots of hills. I'll be running on Enfield for the half marathon, but not on Exposition. Exposition has rolling hills - lots of up and downs, still of considerable incline. Enfield has less steep inclines, until one monstrosity that is painful even to look at. I think next week on my shorter run I'll do Exposition and Enfield again, obviously they had my number today.

it's all mental

I've developed a philosophy about running, and I've been working on translating that into a philosophy for life in general, as it's really a helpful one.

There are good days, and there are bad days. The end.

And, I've found it's true.  And it's what keeps me going back out there.  Knowing that one bad day doesn't dictate any of the days to come, and vice versa.  I can't let the bad days bring me down, nor can I sail on the high from a good day for too long.  Each day is what it is, and then it's over.

I'm three weeks away from my second half marathon, and I've been feeling incredibly unprepared, overwhelmed, and fail-tastic.  Certainly the holidays got in the way of my aggressive training, but even since I'd been back I hadn't made the strides in distance that I had hoped.  Perhaps, also, is the fear in the back of my mind in doing this race completely solo.  Not only has my MBF search turned out low numbers of applicants, but my running partners are dropping like flies.  And so, three weeks to go, I'm the only one running and I seriously question if I can do that.

On Thursday I was granted a few extra free hours and a lovely 78 degree afternoon and I thought, this is the perfect time for my 10-miler.  I geared up and hit the trail.  The pain started in my right instep.  It was constant and nagging, but I trudged onward.  It began to radiate up my leg, through my entire shin, which now felt as if it weighed 40 pounds.  I stopped, at a mile maybe, to stretch it more.  The sound it made (along with the feeling I felt) was that of a slow gentle ripping.  Nothing that you'd want to hear or feel at this point, if ever.  I started running again.  All the while I thought about how heavy my leg felt, how the pain was just sitting there, how hard this was, how alone I felt, how I couldn't do this.  At about 2.5 miles I realized I was slowly crying, mostly from the pain, and I decided to turn around and head back.  The definition of a bad day.  I was afraid more than before that I just simply wasn't ready and couldn't do this.

I planned to try again, ten miles, on Saturday morning.  I asked some running buddies if they'd go too.  None of them were up to the full ten mile challenge, but they agreed to start with me, keep me slow, get me going.  I was convinced I just wouldn't have the internal motivation to get through the whole ten miles alone.  Let's be honest, I'm not a runner.  In my lifetime I've only run a distance of ten miles or more three times, a distance of five miles or more maybe nine times.  Friday night came and went, I was nervous and anxious.  I came home early and tried to sleep.  I woke up and saw the dark sky at 6am, and the weather report - 33 degrees and windy.  Awesome.  I went through my normal pre-run prep, and waited for the texts to roll in.  Which they did.  First KD, sick with the Cedar Fever.  Then LD, overtired and unmotivated.  Then CS, wanting more sleep.  I had been afraid of this very thing.  But I continued to bundle up.  I put on my running pants, a tank top, a long sleeved running shirt, a t-shirt, my running jacket, my gloves, the iPod, and laced up my trusty kicks.  And I headed out to the trail.

It was cold, to say the least.  I was rockin' the CD mixes that Melanie made for my Rock n' Roll Race, and I started slow.  My leg, it felt heavy.  I started to get nervous.  But, I kept going.  After about 2 or so miles my leg was loosened up.  And I was in a groove.  I felt good, the trail felt good, everything felt good.  I know that the pain I felt on Thursday was real, but on Saturday I had the ability to not let it get to me.  After 4 or so miles I took a wrong turn around the longhorn dam and did a tour of some of the crappiest neighborhoods that East Austin has to offer while looking for the dam entrance.  While doing this I couldn't help but think of the one and only time I'd been up around the dam before (Obviously, I was thinking about it, I was trying to remember where to go...).  That was the first time I'd done 10 miles ever, I was with RO'D and KD, and I was hurting.  It was long, I was tired, I was sore, and I struggled so hard to finish.  I was pleasantly surprised by how different this was.  I was good, I was happy, I was in this running zone where I wasn't even looking at the time, not the norm for me.  Once on the south side of the lake I was headed directly into what I've since heard described as "gale force winds".  I'm not sure if this is accurate, but it's pretty damn close.  It was blowing so hard, and I was running up some hills on Lakeshore and Riverside that at one point I questioned whether I was making forward progress at all.  In my last two miles I realized I was still running, I hadn't yet broken down into extended stretches of walking.  I hadn't come up with reasons why it would be ok to stop, or excuses for why I was bad at this.  By the time I finished I felt so good about my now 11-mile run and the morning in general that I almost didn't care about the time.  It was certainly the best run I'd ever had.  And the time, it was pretty great!  The definition of a good day.  I felt accomplished and a little more sure of being able to do this thing.  Still nervous to stand alone at the starting line waiting to go, still wondering if I'll talk myself out of it.

This morning I woke up early to go out to the 3M half marathon.  I wasn't running it, but I had signed up to be a volunteer - something I vowed to do after San Antonio.  I was a course marshal and stationed for two hours on an entrance ramp near 360 directing runners on the course and away from the woods.  It was freezing, and I was standing there all alone, but once the runner's started coming it was amazing to see.  I was told I could go at about 8am, but I stood there for almost another half an hour to just watch and cheer and encourage.  I saw a few people I knew, and "talked to" numerous that I didn't.  On my way home I got caught up in the race route at a different point, and wasn't the least bit annoyed to be separated from the warmth of my bed for that much longer.  I was surprised by the feeling I had, I was envious.  I wanted to be out there running too.  I wanted to be a part of the fun.  I wanted to be running, because I am a runner.  I'm a runner who has good days, and bad days.  The end.

Now* accepting applications for My Biggest Fan!

Sunday, February 15th 2009, 7am, Austin, TX.  13.1 miles.  Everyone who's anyone will be there!

*I haven't technically registered yet, so don't go buying any plane tickets without checking with me first!

UPDATE (1/11/2009): I've registered.  You've got 5 weeks to figure out how to be my biggest fan...