words of wisdom

How to be really cool

Walk around a college campus, holding a map, looking for a building mysteriously called "ARC". When all else fails, ask an undergrad where said building is (while still holding the map, and preferably standing right in front of the building you are asking about!)

How to be in just the right place

Walk from your building, in all directions but the right one for a while, to your professor's building. Call when you get there, as instructed since the building is security controlled and you can't get in otherwise, to find out he's actually in his other office - one floor up from your own office.

How to make friends in your class

Brainwash all of the departmental faculty to believe that you are somehow super-human and that your presence in their department promises to bring $billions in grants and about 17 Nobel Peace prizes. Also helpful if they are less than discrete about this belief.

How to make a good first impression

Leave the country during your first full week of classes!

How to spend the last night before classes start

Watching the Red Sox stomp on the Yankees. I mean, that one's obvious!