Saturday, January 31, 2009

one month down

I decided to start taking a picture a day, at least, for a whole year. I'd read about other people who have done this, and I wanted to give it a try. The first month proved difficult - and many of these shots were taken at the end of the day before I ran out of time. I hope it gets more routine and easier.

The whole 365 set is here.

twelve point five, break-down

I ran the longest of my training runs this morning, 12.5 miles. It amazes me when I do a long run like this, that a person can run past the Hula Hut, the Erwin Center, the Palmer Events Center, and the Elephant Room in the same 2 hour span. Here are the events, as they transpired, this morning.

mile 1: starting the normal trail loop in the opposite direction, Good.
mile 2: new insole in my shoe, Good.
mile 3 (in proximity of my car again): running jacket, Bad. (returned it to car!)
mile 3.5: Ctyomax going down, Gooooooood!
mile 4-6: Exposition hills, Bad.
mile 7: Enfield hill, Ugly.
mile 8: Cytomax coming up, Baaaad!
mile 8: Shrub near the Texas State History Museum to hurl in, Good.
mile 9-10.5: running the whole way in 10.5 minutes, Good.
mile 11: new insole in my shoe, Bad, very bad.
mile 12: Kayne West's Stronger, Good.

Today's run was tough, lots of hills. I'll be running on Enfield for the half marathon, but not on Exposition. Exposition has rolling hills - lots of up and downs, still of considerable incline. Enfield has less steep inclines, until one monstrosity that is painful even to look at. I think next week on my shorter run I'll do Exposition and Enfield again, obviously they had my number today.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

25 Random Things About Me

In another corner of the blogosphere I posted a note with 25 random things about me.  I had a lot of fun writing it during a never-ending scan session yesterday, and it seemed like most people enjoyed reading it.  Since some of y'all aren't over on facebook I thought I'd share it here too.  Particularly in that there are a few items that pertain to some of my non-facebook loyal readers (numbers 1, 8 and 19 particularly!)
1. You will never catch me riding a bike. I haven't since I was 8. I thought once I wanted to, I tried, and I realized I was wrong.

2. I have food issues: I don't eat eggs, I don't drink coffee or anything hot really, I don't eat seafood, I don't eat mushrooms. The reason for all of these is, I don't like it. I am a MUCH better eater than when I was younger.

3. I can't sleep with socks on, I can't eat with my hair down and I can't take care of the weird Texas bugs in my apartment without shoes on. It's just the way it is.

4. When I was little I was insanely, prohibitively shy. 

5. When I make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich I put peanut butter on both pieces of bread. I think it keeps the jelly from making the bread soggy, but also keeps the jelly from sliding out of the sandwich. And yes, I make PB&J quite often!

6. I am astounded on a daily basis by the lack of honesty that people (myself included) display. Not to get all "and the truth shall set you free" or "honesty is the best policy" on you - but really, its true. All I ever want to hear is the truth, even if it makes me upset - it's still the truth and I still want to know it. 

7. I feel I will have failed when I stop being astounded by the lack of honesty and grow to accept it, or worse, expect it.

8. I am an only child. My mother is an only child. I once got into a fight with a girl about whether only children really exist.

9. I am a Red Sox die hard. And have been all my life. When I was younger Tony Pena was my favorite, and Dewey. Also, Carlos Quintana. Johnny Pesky symbolizes everything that is right with the city of Boston and the sport of baseball, in my eyes!

10. I know all the states in alphabetical order and their capitals.

11. I have been fortunate enough to have 6 really close guy friends during various stages in my life. Luckier in that I still talk to 4 of them!

12. I've developed a tolerance to novacaine (and lidocaine too), and I metabolize it ridiculously quickly. The last time I was at the dentist it took 10 shots to get it numb, and a shot every 10 or so minutes to keep it that way. Needless to say, I find dental procedures to be painfully annoying.

13. I have a mean streak, Pictionary and Cranium bring it out.

14. I can quote from every episode of the Cosby show. My homie and I used to pride ourselves on the ability to converse solely through Cosby quotes. ("This looks like a house that would have some cran-apple juice!")

15. I've had 4 cars, three of them have been mazda's. I started with a 1989 Mazda MX6 (rip MIB!), then moved down to a 1990 Mazda Protege. I drove a 1997 Hyundai Tiburon for a long time, and 3 years ago I bought a 2006 Mazda3.

16. I've had stitches on four different occasions. My lower lip, both inside and out (age 3), my head (age 8 - this is the incident that keeps me off a bike), all my wisdom teeth (age 18), my finger tip (age 26)

17. I was the most surprised of anyone at my decision to move to Texas and go to UT. I've not regretted that choice one single day!

18. I've only been thrown out of a bar once. It was because I threw a dart at some guy. Yes, it was on purpose. Yes, he deserved it. Yes, I warned him first, repeatedly. No, it didn't hit him. And yes, I'm glad no one got hurt.

19. I've been to 10 (more if we count all the islands in the caribbean) different countries, but only 22 states, and a portion of those were only on my drive down to TX. I have a tentative plan to do a driving tour of all 50 states with some friends, but we can't make it happen until we finalize the rules of our 50-state drinking game. Obvi!

20. I played lacrosse in college, not varsity it was just club. I like field hockey better, but wasn't good enough to play in college. I also rowed crew in high school, and started to in college. I was on the swim team for one season, I played basketball in 6th grade, and recently I've started distance running. For fun I've done intramural volleyball, floor hockey, ultimate frisbee, softball, and kickball. I've never once considered myself an athlete.

21. I have OCD tendencies about cleaning. I do it when I'm stressed, and I Clorox wipe everything.

22. My paternal grandfather passed away in 2007 and some of the guys my dad works with came to the wake. While talking to them it became obvious that they knew everything I'd done with the past 5 years of my life. They knew where I worked, and what I worked on, the trips I'd taken, the car I'd bought, every little thing. I cried at the thought of my dad going in to work to brag about his 27-year-old daughter.

23. When I use Microsoft Word I always have the paragraph symbols turned on. This inevitably freaks out anyone who tries to edit a document on my computer.

24. I've got a giant birthmark on my butt. I often forget it's there, and right now I am unsure which side it's on.

25. I'm a completely different person than I was at the age of 16. I think that's a good thing
.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

it's all mental

I've developed a philosophy about running, and I've been working on translating that into a philosophy for life in general, as it's really a helpful one.
There are good days, and there are bad days. The end.
And, I've found it's true.  And it's what keeps me going back out there.  Knowing that one bad day doesn't dictate any of the days to come, and vice versa.  I can't let the bad days bring me down, nor can I sail on the high from a good day for too long.  Each day is what it is, and then it's over.

I'm three weeks away from my second half marathon, and I've been feeling incredibly unprepared, overwhelmed, and fail-tastic.  Certainly the holidays got in the way of my aggressive training, but even since I'd been back I hadn't made the strides in distance that I had hoped.  Perhaps, also, is the fear in the back of my mind in doing this race completely solo.  Not only has my MBF search turned out low numbers of applicants, but my running partners are dropping like flies.  And so, three weeks to go, I'm the only one running and I seriously question if I can do that.

On Thursday I was granted a few extra free hours and a lovely 78 degree afternoon and I thought, this is the perfect time for my 10-miler.  I geared up and hit the trail.  The pain started in my right instep.  It was constant and nagging, but I trudged onward.  It began to radiate up my leg, through my entire shin, which now felt as if it weighed 40 pounds.  I stopped, at a mile maybe, to stretch it more.  The sound it made (along with the feeling I felt) was that of a slow gentle ripping.  Nothing that you'd want to hear or feel at this point, if ever.  I started running again.  All the while I thought about how heavy my leg felt, how the pain was just sitting there, how hard this was, how alone I felt, how I couldn't do this.  At about 2.5 miles I realized I was slowly crying, mostly from the pain, and I decided to turn around and head back.  The definition of a bad day.  I was afraid more than before that I just simply wasn't ready and couldn't do this.

I planned to try again, ten miles, on Saturday morning.  I asked some running buddies if they'd go too.  None of them were up to the full ten mile challenge, but they agreed to start with me, keep me slow, get me going.  I was convinced I just wouldn't have the internal motivation to get through the whole ten miles alone.  Let's be honest, I'm not a runner.  In my lifetime I've only run a distance of ten miles or more three times, a distance of five miles or more maybe nine times.  Friday night came and went, I was nervous and anxious.  I came home early and tried to sleep.  I woke up and saw the dark sky at 6am, and the weather report - 33 degrees and windy.  Awesome.  I went through my normal pre-run prep, and waited for the texts to roll in.  Which they did.  First KD, sick with the Cedar Fever.  Then LD, overtired and unmotivated.  Then CS, wanting more sleep.  I had been afraid of this very thing.  But I continued to bundle up.  I put on my running pants, a tank top, a long sleeved running shirt, a t-shirt, my running jacket, my gloves, the iPod, and laced up my trusty kicks.  And I headed out to the trail.

It was cold, to say the least.  I was rockin' the CD mixes that Melanie made for my Rock n' Roll Race, and I started slow.  My leg, it felt heavy.  I started to get nervous.  But, I kept going.  After about 2 or so miles my leg was loosened up.  And I was in a groove.  I felt good, the trail felt good, everything felt good.  I know that the pain I felt on Thursday was real, but on Saturday I had the ability to not let it get to me.  After 4 or so miles I took a wrong turn around the longhorn dam and did a tour of some of the crappiest neighborhoods that East Austin has to offer while looking for the dam entrance.  While doing this I couldn't help but think of the one and only time I'd been up around the dam before (Obviously, I was thinking about it, I was trying to remember where to go...).  That was the first time I'd done 10 miles ever, I was with RO'D and KD, and I was hurting.  It was long, I was tired, I was sore, and I struggled so hard to finish.  I was pleasantly surprised by how different this was.  I was good, I was happy, I was in this running zone where I wasn't even looking at the time, not the norm for me.  Once on the south side of the lake I was headed directly into what I've since heard described as "gale force winds".  I'm not sure if this is accurate, but it's pretty damn close.  It was blowing so hard, and I was running up some hills on Lakeshore and Riverside that at one point I questioned whether I was making forward progress at all.  In my last two miles I realized I was still running, I hadn't yet broken down into extended stretches of walking.  I hadn't come up with reasons why it would be ok to stop, or excuses for why I was bad at this.  By the time I finished I felt so good about my now 11-mile run and the morning in general that I almost didn't care about the time.  It was certainly the best run I'd ever had.  And the time, it was pretty great!  The definition of a good day.  I felt accomplished and a little more sure of being able to do this thing.  Still nervous to stand alone at the starting line waiting to go, still wondering if I'll talk myself out of it.

This morning I woke up early to go out to the 3M half marathon.  I wasn't running it, but I had signed up to be a volunteer - something I vowed to do after San Antonio.  I was a course marshal and stationed for two hours on an entrance ramp near 360 directing runners on the course and away from the woods.  It was freezing, and I was standing there all alone, but once the runner's started coming it was amazing to see.  I was told I could go at about 8am, but I stood there for almost another half an hour to just watch and cheer and encourage.  I saw a few people I knew, and "talked to" numerous that I didn't.  On my way home I got caught up in the race route at a different point, and wasn't the least bit annoyed to be separated from the warmth of my bed for that much longer.  I was surprised by the feeling I had, I was envious.  I wanted to be out there running too.  I wanted to be a part of the fun.  I wanted to be running, because I am a runner.  I'm a runner who has good days, and bad days.  The end.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

basketcase

I was nervous to come back from my vacation to a cat who was angry and neglected.  I had no idea I should expect her to be a complete nutjob.  On the one hand, she has continued to sleep on my bed - a fact aided, I think, by the addition of my old comforter.  It's been cold here at night, and I've dragged out an old, fluffier comforter for the bed.  She's perfectly content snuggling up to that at night, and I'm perfectly happy to take whatever I can get!

On the other hand, she's displaying some anxiety problems.  The last time she displayed significant signs of anxiety was right after Princess (my roommates cat) was put to sleep, and those symptoms re-emerged shortly thereafter, when our entire apartment was packed up and Stacey had moved out.  At that time Mia sulked around and hid intently under Stacey's bed, for hours and hours at a time.  I remember that Stacey kind of gave up and just started talking to Mia and telling her that it was going to be ok, that Princess had been sick and she was much happier now.  Stacey told Mia that Princess hadn't done anything wrong, and that nothing was going to happen to Mia.  It was then that Mia came out from under Stacey's bed.  

For about a week Mia has been covering her food bowl with her blanket when she walks away from it.  I noticed this habit slowly, sometimes I thought that the blanket ended up there accidentally, it is usually on the floor near where the food bowl goes.  But, one day I watched it happen.  Mia eats in shifts.  She nibbles, takes a break, comes back for more.  The entire process can take the entire evening for her to eat about 3 oz. of food.  She had just finished her first little nosh-fest and she walked over to the blanket, pawed at it a few times, gripped it in her paw, and dragged it on top of her food dish.  At first, I was just amazed...WHAT?!  So A bit later I pulled it off, and she came back for more food after that.  When I looked back next, the dish was again covered.  So this cycle continued, and I kept removing the blanket, placing it further and further away from the dish each time.  And she continually covered up the dish when she was done eating.  I, of course, made fun of her and took pictures, but after 2 days of this I began to get concerned.  I decided to take the blanket into another room for a while.  And then, I broke out Stacey's style of therapy, and I began talking to her.  We had a heart-to-heart (or so I think), and since then, the blanket has been returned and has remained off the dish.  We're out of the woods....

...for now.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

confessions

There are a few of you who read this regularly who might not think I'm bat-shit crazy for what I'm about to admit.  And there's one of you whom I bet has probably done the same thing before. 

I was in a cleaning frenzy yesterday, I took down the christmas tree, I vacuumed the couch, I unpacked from my trip home, pretty basic.  Until I broke out the Clorox Wipes.  Then we know we are in trouble.  After vacuuming I emptied and cleaned the canister and all the various filters (because they were gross) - however, the frenzy did not stop there.  I clorox wiped the entire outside of the vacuum cleaner as well, because it looked like it needed it.  And, this isn't the first time I've done that.

I know I'm not alone, who else is with me?  And, if you're not - are you seriously satisfied using a dirty vacuum to clean your floors?!  I wonder who is the one with the problem...

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Now* accepting applications for My Biggest Fan!

Sunday, February 15th 2009, 7am, Austin, TX.  13.1 miles.  Everyone who's anyone will be there!

*I haven't technically registered yet, so don't go buying any plane tickets without checking with me first!

UPDATE (1/11/2009): I've registered.  You've got 5 weeks to figure out how to be my biggest fan...

Monday, January 05, 2009

it could happen...

Ya'll know, I love V-tek!  I feel like I can more easily track down Colt McCoy (no matter how smokin' his girlfriend might be) and make him mine, seeing that I live on that same campus and all.  I'll let you know how it turns out....

Saturday, January 03, 2009

a lesson in counting

I just got back from a few days in Boston, where I was fortunate enough to use my mom's car and a friend's vacant apartment.  Here's the break-down:

Number of times I used my left foot for the brake: 2
Number of times I tried to shift the shifter while moving: 3
Number of times I tried to drive with the parking brake on, thinking I was simply stuck in the snow: 2
Number of times I tried to use my car key in my mom's car: 1
Number of times I set off the car alarm: 3
Number of parking tickets: 1
Number of times I cursed the fact that the windshield washer fluid shoots over the top of the car: 19
Number of times I could not figure out how to open the apartment/building door: 3
Number of times I understood what this thing was for: zero
Number of times I misplaced my wallet: 1
Number of phone conversations with Reid: 1
Number of good times had with friends: uncountable.

Friday, January 02, 2009

resolute

If 2007 was a transition year, than I think the best title for a mostly non-descript two thousand and eight would be a year of growth.  While it took slightly longer than I would have hoped, the differences are striking.  Taken together, the last two years have prepared me for what I hope will be a great 2009, year of something better yet to come!  Let's get to it already.