my professionalism will astound you

On Thursday afternoon I was in my office and received a phone call from a potential subject. My research is directly dependent on people wanting to participate, and the fact that I want to use elderly subjects - well, recruitment is tricky. So, when someone calls to volunteer, basically I will agree to give them whatever in the world they want. My advisor was in the lab area outside of my office, but I decided it was ok to carry on with the phone conversation with my door open. A few minutes into the conversation, however, a classmate walked in to use the lab area. I decided it would be better to shut my door, so she could not hear my conversation. I had to slide my phone from the back of my desk to the front edge so I could get up to shut the door.

And there it was - a giant bug. HUGE. with antennae. You know how well I deal with these things. But, I was on the phone. So, I grabbed the paper I was writing notes on and stood up on my chair. I had my eyes locked on that sucker, while I spoke to the subject from atop my chair and tried to make an appointment for our first meeting. Finally I decided I could not wait any longer, and I found a post-it note pad to try and crush the bug. BUT - he began to run. I LOST THE BUG. So, now I'm back up on the chair scribbling notes.

Finally, I made the appointment, hung up the phone, and opened my office door. At which point I burst into high-pitched squeals "omigawd, a bug. A BUG, omigod!! There was a bug. I lost the bug. omigawd!!" Both my advisor and classmate turned to look at me, slightly unphased. The classmate asked, "was it big?" I wanted to scream - DOES IT MATTER?! But, I calmed down a bit.

I removed everything from my desk, and used some lysol wipes. Then I got down on my hands and knees, armed with wipes and a heavy tape dispenser, and began the search. My classmate looked in and laughed, "What are you doing? Oh my god, are you looking for it?" From beneath my desk I shrieked "Of course I am! It's here somewhere. I lost it. Where did it go?!"

Defeated, I stood up and packed my bag. As I headed out of my office my advisor said, "heading home? Have a nice night!" and I responded, "yes, I'm itchy. There's a bug in my office!" I wonder if he regrets working with me? Thanks to my dad, I know the bug isn't there anymore. He assured me it has crawled out, under the door, and made its way down the hall by now!