there's always next year

I can't even express how much I hate that sentence.  I remember, with excruciating detail, one night in October 2003.  I was living in my 2-room studio in Waltham, and in my mind I can still see that bedroom.  My desk was over in the corner, and my white dresser that I had owned since I was ten was at the foot of my bed.  The TV sitting on top of it.  I was over to the right of the bed, between it and the window standing, yelling.  I was on the phone with a friend of mine who lived in Buffalo for law school.  The law library had kicked them out before the game was over, it was after midnight by this point, and she needed a play-by-play.  I remember telling her in detail everything that was going on, I was yelling and screaming from the pure joy.  Until.  We all know how it ended.  And I was speechless.  I could barely get out the words to tell her what happened.  I was now crumbled onto the floor under the window of my bedroom making noises that I hoped she could decipher.  I'm not sure I ever told her the exact play - but she heard the tears and pain with which I tried to get it out, and she understood.  Soxtober was over.  And we'd have to man-up and tell ourselves "There's always next year". 

I consider myself lucky that in much the same fashion I remember in excruciating detail that next year, 2004.  I remember October 27th 2004 pretty vividly.  I remember how quiet it got right at that last play.   The chop back to Foulke, the toss to Minky, and then the impossible happened.  It was over.  The next .3 seconds lasted forever, everyone was silent as we processed what just happened.  And then, pure joy!  I had been watching with friends who live very close to fenway and we quickly flooded, with the masses, into Kenmore Square.  I saw the red full moon, I saw the riot squad, I saw the crowds.  I saw the city of Boston breath a collective sigh of relief, since we would never again have to say "There's always next year."  Because, in fact, there was finally this year!

I watched last night,  Soxtober ended early again.  Maybe it's because I live so far away now, I feel like watching the Red Sox somehow connects me to a time that I am very comfortable remembering.  But, I wanted them to win.  Bad.  And as every true Sox fan did, I sat wide-eyed, open-mouthed, clench-fists as that stupid Tampa Bay Ray jumped triumphantly on second base just before being pummeled by the rest of his team.  I watched as V-tek packed up his bag and headed out of the dug out, wondering, will there be a next year?  I watched as Coco and Pedy lingered in the dug out, starring out at the Tampa Bay celebration.  I watched for about 3 minutes after the last out was made, then I headed home, without a word.

This morning, I feel a bit differently.  I don't want to say "There's always next year.", I want to relive some of this one.  It was a long, good season.  Those boys gave us some friggin' great baseball.  And, even injured and tired and behind, they fought like dirtdogs until the end.  And, in the end, there was someone else who came out on top.  Watching them celebrate last night, I was at once both enraged and awestruck.  That team has one of the lowest salaries in the sport, they came straight from the bottom to the top, and they are about to do something for their club, for their town, that has never been done before.  So today, with Soxtober over, I can say - Damn, that's impressive.  I am excited for them, all those jumping fools who beat my team.  And I will watch the World Series.  And I will root for The Rays.  Because, there's still this year.

2008 ALCS Game 2: a text message retrospective

Top of first, Jason Bay 2 out 2 RBI double.

JP (to SH, NH, CH, JK, RO'D):Manny who?

SH: Exactly!

NH: What happened? Waiting on bus to take me home.

JP (to NH): Papi walked. Youk single. Bay 2 rbi double. Lowrie walked. V tek strike out. 2-0 Sox mid first.

Top of first, Jason Varitek strikes out to end the inning.

SH: Sorry, but tek sucks when not catching

JP (to SH): Omg...i totally know!

Sometime later...

NH: Gd still no bus.

EP: Sox!

Bottom of second, Evan Longoria 2 run homer.

JP (to NH): Tb just got a two run homer. Tie game. F F F

JP (to SH): Well....CRAP!

Top of third, Dustin Pedroia hits a solo homerun.

JP (to SH): Mvp!

SH: I heart him!

CH: Pedroia!

JP (to CH): Mvp!

End of third, Tampa Bay 2-run inning.

JP(to SH): Are you kidding me?

SH: I know. But lets be positive. Still early, right? They make me nervous

JP (to SH): Still early for sure! Plenty of time :)

JP (to NH): Rays lead 4-3 2 outs bot 3. Doing replays is making me angry!

EP: WTFUuuuuuuudge?

JP (to EP): We can has better pitching?

Top of fifth, Dustin Pedroia hits a solo homerun.

NH: Sweet!

(apparently made it on a bus!)

JP (to CH): Dude, I heart pedroia!

Kevin Youkilis follows with a solo homerun.

CH: Youk!

JP (to CH): I heart him too :)

Jason Bay follows with a solo homerun.

CH: I heart bay!

SH: What was that Manny? Don't worry we don't need you! We love bay. What a nerve wracking game!

Sometime in the bottom of the fifth when Beckett was giving up runs left and right.

JP (to SH): Get him out of there!

SH: I don't like this.  Too nervous

JP (to SH): Seriously...but it seems anything can happen this game!

SH: I wish you were here and we were watching the game together!  miss you.  We can still do this.

(admittedly, this was my favorite text of the whole night!)

JP (to SH): I wish I were there too!

JK (in response to my very first text): But we do need to know who beckett is

JP (to JK): Unfortunately i think we know...not good.

Top of 8th, Papi strikes out again.

JP (to SH): What happened to mr. october?

Top of 8th, Pedroia steals home on a wild pitch.

CMP: tied!!

JP (to CMP): Ya :)  Pedroia

Sox bring in Masterson.

SH: F@#$!

And then Papelbon.

JP (to SH): why paps now?  If extra innings we need him later.

Tampa Bay wins off of Mike Timlin.

phone convo between me and RO'D at the end of the game, 12:36am:

him: I saw

me: what a waste of 6 hours

him: yup

me: TIMLIN.

him: ya

me: they wasted paps

him: ya

me: I gotta sleep.

him: yes.

me: better to go to Boston 1-1 then down 2.

him: for sure.  better.

me: f@#$!

him: f@#$!

(what I love about this is, this is how it went.  I called him.  There was no "hello" and there was no "goodbye".  Just this.)

I love that dirty water

It can't go unmentioned, the excitement that was Monday night's ALDS victory. The old roomie and I discussed the state of Sox fans - new vs old, real vs. bandwagon. The new, bandwagoners, likely felt no fear on Monday. They likely sat back thinking, we'll do it, we always do it. The old, real fans. We bit our nails down to our fingers. We, of course, yelled when Masterson gave up Lester's lead. But even before that we yelled that a 2 run lead was not enough. We needed more security. We know how quickly it can all change. And it did.

I was sitting at a bar in Austin with my parents and when they brought in Manny Delcarmen (with a runner on third, the go ahead runner) I began to panic. In an attempt to lighten the mood I suggested that there be a new rule to baseball, you know to spice it up. I began proposing that the incoming pitcher could elect to remove one base-runner from a base. You know, just because. It's not always fair, the situations they have to come in to. As I was formulating my argument, it seems that V-tek was on the same wavelength as me. He managed to catch that runner on third in the sweetest pickle I've seen in a while. As the runner glanced back to watch for V-tek's throw to Youk, he realized he was much closer to Tek than he thought. he ran for third, but Tek ran faster and tagged him out - right on the bum! Awesome. Totally awesome.

And then they won. With a whole new crowd of winners. Jason Bay. Jed Lowrie. It really warms the heart of an old fan, that the new kids are so quickly and deeply entrenched in Sox history. And now we wait, the old fans, for Friday. Tampa Bay. We wait and wonder - do I have enough Tums to get through this series? Myself, I'm going to have a pre-ALCS MRI scan tomorrow, so we can monitor the development of any dangerous aneurysms. But I still say - bring it Tampa Bay. Bring it, we're totally mostly somewhat ready!